I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
