white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
