i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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