He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
