Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
