If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
