did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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