community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize