dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
