thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
