honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
