did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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