the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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