so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
