made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
