im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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