I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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