I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
