wakey wakey hands off snakey
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
