i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
