Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just forgot I was standing up.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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