You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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