I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize