I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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