Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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