No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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