If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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