i love accidental penises.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
