I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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