Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
