Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She announced her abortion via fbk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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