For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
