One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
