how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
