I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
