You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
