So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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