One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
