You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
