before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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