it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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