I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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