Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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