ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
