I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize