You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
