And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize