Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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