you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
