Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
