I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
