Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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