Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
vagina is talking i cant
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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