I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
