sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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