Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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