normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
