i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
