What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
