There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
