We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
