In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
