You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
