I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She bit a glass in half.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
