she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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