Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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